How long are you going to hold on to your anger? How long are you going to keep it festering inside of you, this fire, this inferno of poison and venom? How long can you keep acid in your stomach, in your veins, in your blood and in your mind before it begins to eat away at the very core of you?
All for the purpose of being hurt, feeling wronged and experiencing betrayal. To justify that anger is no more than an emotion of sadness and hurt. Many people dissociate and mentally detach when suffering, while others cry and scream, allowing the animal core of their being to fall to earth for healing and renewal.
People become hurt collectors. They hold onto it, recording and documenting, gathering up one hurt after the next. In the throat, in the closet or in a box somewhere deep inside, hidden from the rest of the world like a dirty secret.
The thing is that other people do see it. It’s in their words, the way they express themselves, in their actions, the stories they tell and in the way they touch. It’s in their reactions to conversations, choices and experiences. Their anger is revealed in their health, their internal system, in their organs and in their eyes. It’s in the way they love.
With knowing how outwardly obvious this is on levels subtle and not so subtle, how can we keep the pain and sadness a secret any longer? How can we continue to live as a stranger to ourselves and to others? How can we truly be free in the activities and events we are taking on for growth and education if we aren’t able to see the poison that we continue to digest, that we feed our minds, our emotions and our bodies until becoming a cesspool of venom and darkness?
I know for I have lived this myself, being a shaman. I have opened my heart to love at such levels that for some it is overwhelming. I kept loving and I continued to love, however to love can be painful because you’re putting yourself out there, leaving yourself open and vulnerable, as if being stripped of your clothes and possessions, standing naked and bare in front of gnashing teeth and claws saying, “here I am, here I am!”
When someone hurts you, deliberately goes out of their way to cause you harm or to affect you in some unpleasant way, you begin to think that the world and every other person that you meet might be the same. This is the greatest misconception held by many. Too many times I’ve been hurt by people. Hurt because they were jealous, hurt because they couldn’t control me, hurt because they didn’t like what I said, and hurt because they didn’t want me to say it. All of this because I believed that I was helping them to grow, prosper and evolve to becoming what I saw inside of them.
I realized over time that people are who they are and if I allow them to just be who they are instead of placing my energy, love and wisdom upon them it would be easier for them in that moment. This however is not what I did. Instead I focused my energy on loving them beyond where they could love themselves, therefore creating an expectation of their triumph, happiness, health, freedom, and all the other potential I saw. Many times though this resulted in more stress, fear and pain, and it was through this reaction that I began to experience the hurt of these dear people that I love so much.
This hurt amplified when some of these people went out of their way to hurt and cause viscious harm to me, which resulted in the deepest pain. I am sharing this experience because I know that many of you are carrying anger, who are either frustrated or filled rage because you are hurt. You are hurting so badly and you don’t have justification for the hurt you endured, why it was done to you, and why did you deserve such a thing. The truth is that you didn’t deserve it and you may not know why it happened but you must acknowledge that it happened.
This is the first step in understanding: it did happen and by recognizing that it happened begins the first stage of freeing ourselves from the calamity, suffering and pain that we took on. When we acknowledge that it exists and that it did happen we have an opportunity to exercise our free will in deciding what to do next.
So what do you do with all this anger? The answer is clear: we allow ourselves to understand the truth of anger. We allow ourselves to recognize the opportunity to identify our values and principles. We look at who we are, what we deserve, and we love ourselves more than ever before. Expressing one’s self to the person who caused the pain can teach us about ourselves, so that we can become wiser and stronger, with an opportunity to be more compassionate and humble, to open up new energies for creativity, freedom and expression. This can create an experience that is the true resurrection of our being. This can allow us to release toxins from our bodies.
We can release all shadows from our mind and cast away all energies that do not serve the principles, values and integrity that love instilled in each and every one of us! We cannot under any circumstance allow someone’s actions and behaviors to change who we are, just because we got hurt, broken and sad inside. We must rejoice, connect and understand that this is the only way in which we can truly find salvation from our pain and suffering!
We are so much more than the incidents and circumstances of our lives. We are only experiencing these things so that we can go further within ourselves for introspection and increased awareness. Love is always present, waiting for us, calling to us, beckoning us at such a level where there is no lack and limitation.
Look upon the new day after you have released the sadness. Speak your truth and express your feelings because the sadness needs a voice. This means so much to the spirit that you have been able to learn and grow in ways you never thought possible, and that you now understand the law of cause and effect. It brings comfort to know that a simple cause of your need to grow led you down this path to pain and suffering. The great masters say that this is part of the journey of life and becoming great, so that we may reach others with our stories and our experiences.
As people we can go beyond our human selves and step into the awareness of unconditional love, not just for our fellow men and women but for ourselves, for the planet, for the conditions which we experience day to day.
Know that there is a reason for all of this and if you continue to stay the course with love in your heart for the lesson that is being taught, you will see the unfolding of something so majestic and powerful! You would have never turned away if you knew the reward that waits at the end of this dark tunnel.
I say hold on and don’t give up! A whole new world is born through you and your ideas. This in itself is worth more than any gold, diamonds or treasure you could acquire, as no thing compares to the level of riches that you’ll receive by walking through the trenches and emerging from the lions den. This brings great hope for the generations to come, to show what is possible when you heal and discover the glorious gifts bestowed. I wish you this journey and the love, happiness and enlightenment that it yields!