All of the distractions in the news and our social atmosphere have created a sense of fear and put us in a place of defense. We live with the constant awareness that something bad can happen. We perpetuate this fear because we have become afraid of one another and of ourselves. This is unfortunate for us and for our species as a whole. This is not why we were born. It is not our purpose on earth to live in fear of each other.
In order for us to be fully present, we have to have a clear sense of who we are and direct that energy from a place of love, not fear.
What happens when we show up with fear and anger.
We already have all the tools we need to show up in the world without fear. We hold the ability to care, to love, to support, and to embrace. We do it all the time in our lives, yet we don’t use these gifts of spirit when it really matters. We have become fearful because we have forgotten the deep truth that is us. Not the “you” who has suffered, not the “you” who has lost, and not the “you” who has been treated unfairly. It’s the “we” who have suffered, the “we” who have lost, and the “we” who have been treated unfairly.
On the journey through life, you’re always going to have to deal with people, and people are going to teach you how to deal with yourself. See the beautiful symbiosis here?
When you are not anchoring yourself in love, you convince yourself that you are not safe, and you exude this energy when conversing with others. Time and time again, I have seen people control others because they do not feel safe enough to let them show up as they are. Perhaps because their perception is different, or they are not grounded in their own truth enough to let someone else be grounded in theirs.
How many relationships have come to an end because someone was not willing to accept and let the other person present themselves? How many wars have we fought because we were unable to allow someone else to be with us as they are, without feeling the need to change them? Instead of trying to understand one another’s social and cultural differences, we had to judge, condemn, barricade, dismiss, annihilate, and suppress—all because we were afraid and couldn’t remain steady in love.
How to show up with love and authenticity.
In today’s culture, we are a mixture of many people of backgrounds, perceptions, beliefs, and upbringings. We have a choice to let all types of people show up without fear, judgment, or ridicule. And we have a choice to let ourselves show up the same way. We don’t need to abandon who we are—don’t need to limit and disrespect our beautiful light—in order to be loved.
Remember that relationships also fall apart when one person does not allow themselves to show up in an authentic way in order to make the other person happy. We do it all the time, and we have been doing it since we were children. Denying the truth of who we are only causes us to be passive aggressive to ourselves and other people.
I say to you with every expression of my heart: LET IT BE. Let people be who they are. YOU BE WHO YOU ARE. Let your partner show up as they want to; don’t hide who you are to make other people happy. Know you don’t have to choose fear as a reaction to differences.
The “we” becomes stronger when the “you” becomes wiser. We must as the people of earth use the inherent gifts inside of us and remain constant in love when dealing with ourselves and others. If you have to change yourself to make another person happy, you will suffer. If you have to change another person to be happy, you will suffer.
You don’t see a lion trying to make an elephant become like it. It respects and honors the circle of life. It knows that it cannot be a lion if the elephant doesn’t choose to be an elephant. It understands the “we”; it understands “let it be.” If creation wanted everything to be the same, it would be. But the cell of life has many spectra, as the rainbow holds many colors. You are wonderful as you are—and so is everyone else.
For more from Shaman Durek, check out mbg’s Q&A with him at revitalize.